Happy September. I hope you all took some time out of your day to decorate your front stoops in true autumn style. I pulled some leaves off the trees and spray painted them in gorgeous hues of yellow, orange, and burnt sienna and glued them to the front steps to create a totally fall atmosphere. I also mulled some wine and put it in a dispenser on my front porch so guests can have a warm libation on their way into the house. Pumpkin carving next weekend!
At this time of the year things tend to really slow down. The kids are back at school and work can feel like a real drag. One sure way to jazz up your day is to spend some time chillin at the water cooler. Obviously I would never imagine drinking the water from the cooler considering all those people have manhandled the spout, but I do bring my mineral water with a twist of lime and commit to starting up some fantastic gossip. Here are some sure ways to get the rumours flying:
1. Did you hear about Ernest buying his wife a back waxing gift certificate for their anniversary? I think it would be better used on her unibrow personally...
2. I accidentally opened Cindy's email inbox and saw she had written a heartfelt note to Jenny Craig. On the work clock? Unbelievable...
3. I seen Johnson steal a pack of Bic pens from the office supply cabinet and stick the box into his fanny pack. Isn't stealing a fellony?
If you finish any of these phrases with a "don't tell anyone" you can guarantee that people will tell someone! Don't get me wrong, as an Urban Woman, I am not a gossip, but this is all in good fun. You also must know that I have been the recipient of this type of silly prank...I once heard someone say: "Who puts a chicken wing in their ceasar?" I knew it was a joke because anyone that reads my blog would know that chicken ceasers are on the cutting edge of cocktails.
Stay jazzy!
Until next time,
Urban Woman
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