At this time of year I can't help but fantasize about Dick Clark-he has really been an icon of our generation. There was this one time that we locked eyes in a super intense way...it didn't even matter that I was at home on my chaise lounge and he was in Times Square. Since I have totally had my eyes on DC for the last decade I thought now was the time to give you some tips on how to find your own Urban Man to rub dance with this NYE!
First of all ensure that the party you are hosting or attending will be totally Urban and have a nice bevy of Urban Men to choose from-some indicators of an Urban party will be as follows:
-VIP list
-a warning sign for those susceptible to strokes (due to the laser beam show)
-paparazzi
-dress code in effect
The best time to snag your perfect man is at midnight on the dot. Discreetly place yourself directly under the mistletoe at 11:00pm and do not move from this spot (there will be other Urban Women competing with you). At midnight bat your lashes 3 times and you should see an Urban Stallion standing before you who smells of Axe body spray and is sporting a man tank. You can be sure this is going to be worth your wait!
If the kiss is magical instantly begin speaking in an exotic accent. Some people find English or Italian accents alluring, but I recommend trying something a little more edgy-Texan or Dutch have served me well over the years. I have been working on a special zombie autotunes voice for this NYE to be totally chic and ironic. After you accent has successfully impressed this mystery fellow your necklace alarm clock will need to strike 12 again (because of your faux-accent identity) and another major smooch is sure to follow! At this point your pheremones will be so in sync that you are considered to be going steady. Way to snag 'em ladies!
If you want to keep the romance going into the early hours be sure to excuse yourself to the ladies room to 'freshen up'. While I know I may be a little high maintenance, for me freshening up is a vital part of my persona-bring a change of gowns, add another set of chicken cutlets to your bra, and tweeze any unwanted stray hairs that may have grown in over the course of the evening. When you come out of the toilette (this type of lingo will add to your exotic appeal) you may have to fight off more than one Urban Man!
Urban Women-remember that NYE is the night that glitter and glam are never out of style. Go wild with the tinsel, body sparkles, and glowstick fluid (break open your fave neon bracelet and dab it on your erogenous zones for when the lights get dim!).
Also remember to drink responsibly and have a glass of water in between each mocktail.
Happy 2012!
Until next time,
Urban Woman
p.s. it may be necessary to review 2012 protocol before the party begins http://www.urbanwomanblogger.blogspot.com/2011_11_01_archive.html
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