As you probs guessed this post is all about Groundhog Day! This day is really important to me because it helps me decide when I should put my winter tube dresses away and pull out my spring collection (sneak peak-gauze, neons, & bleach stained denims!).
Tbh*, I have a dirty little secret-I am a groundhog breeder. That is why I get so jazzed for Feb deuce. In my spare bedroom I have groundhog coop installed in preparation for Y2K. I figured that if the world ended at least I would have the resources to create a stylish new fur vest and have a fan club to read my blog to. Obviously, 12 years later, I am one of the most well known and respected breeders in the Urban world. I wash my groundhogs' hair with tresemme on a biweekly basis, give them each a V05 Hot Oil treatment per annum, and feed them a diet of tuna snack packs and peeled grapes. The Omegas keep their coats really plush and the organic food keeps them lethargic so they are easier to manage.
Tomorrow you will see one of my fave groundhogs-his name is Bill Furry.
If he sees his shadow I will be so proud because it will mean his eyesight has not been permanently damaged from his stint in the tanning bed. If he doesn't see his shadow then we are in for an early Spring Break (hello Cancun, jello shooters, and bikini bathers). In keeping with pop culture trends I had Bill Furry fitted for a set of vampire teeth. If you can, try to catch a glimpse of me behind the camera man on your local news station. I will be the one with big sunglasses and a hotdog in my hand trying to coax Mr. Furry out of his hole.
Stay tuned for my steamy Valentine's Edition coming soon!
Until Next Time,
Urban Woman
*To be honest
2 comments:
Footnotes, tuna, lethargy and tresemme- faboosh!
Maybe you should try putting the hotdog INTO Mr. Furry's hole.
Happy Feb deuce!
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