Kisses: It's Valentimes Day!

Hello Urban Women,

Valentimes is such a romantic time of year-especially for someone as whimsical as me! I am so in love with love, cupid is basically my conjoined twin. One of my top trendspotters on the west coast discovered the best new Feb 14th flare. Say goodbye to vajazzling and hello to the twat toupee! This is one sure fire way to knock your sexy up a notch with a simple yet elegant garnish for your girlie bits.  Not only do they add an urban flare to your genitals, but they also can hide those home laser hair removal burns, and patchy hair bits from wax jobs gone wrong.

These flirty styles are also created from free range local farm operatives. The Foxy Bikini fur is shaved from a rare exotic pink fox and the Carnivale is made from feathers plucked from endangered song birds. After I got mine installed I wore low riders to let the feathers poke out a bit for extra tantalization.


Carnivale Bikini



Foxy Bikini



NGL* I actually thought of this idea a long time ago, but my design got held up in the patent process. My twat toupee prototype was the tail of a Davy Crockett beaver hat for the main fur-less nether region with optional danglers for both the pits and nips. Talk about beaver fever... All were adhesed with low carbon emitting uhu stick. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for the company that has struck it rich with this copied idea! Girl power!

Leave it to Beaver: Urban Woman Twat Toupee circa 1992

I hope you all find a super Urban Stallion to giddy up with this Valentimes Day! xoxoxo <3 <3 <3

Until next time,

Urban Woman

*not gonna lie