I wanted to share a really embarrassing personal experience with you all. Not only to save you from facing similar faux pas, but also to maintain my open and honest blogging policy. Afterall, it don't mean a thing, if you ain't got that swing...right?
So, I was out for lunch at a really posh chain restaurant the other day with a couple of my girlfriends and a few corporate sponsors. I looked fabulous because I just came from a spray tan appointment and was wearing my new plunging-v-neck velour onesie in a maroon hue to highlight the orangey tan. To impress my lunch mates I began talking about how soup du jour is my favourite, only to find out that soup du jour changes, like every week. It's not even a real flavour! I let that one slide and began eating my deep fried mushroom caps stuffed with imitation crab meat.
Shortly after, I excused myself to use the "ladies" to reapply my eyeliner and squirt a little bit more of my favourite fragrance behind my ears and into my cleavage (FYI Brittany Spears, Fantasy). After a few minutes of sitting there I realised that one of the chicken cutlets I had used to stuff my bra (remember how the right one is slightly fuller than the left?) had wormed its way into the middle of the plunging v-neckline. The perfume must have caused the cutlet to slide over... I could only imagine how the rubbery piece of vegan meat looked dangling out of my top. (Thank goodness I had already learned not to use real chicken cutlets after a horrifying situation involving a lot of flies and a salmonella scare.) Ladies, you must always keep cool and chic during these situations. Despite the horrifying circumstance, I handled myself perfectly. I grabbed the cutlet and exclaimed: "How did that get there?" I followed up with my cutest laugh and then launched right into my business proposition which is to start a new product line of tinned iceburg lettuce. It was as though nothing bad had ever happened.
I don't call myself the Urban Woman for nothing!
Until next time,
Urban Woman
This is what I'm talking about....gorgeous corsage is not included
Don't make the same mistake twice!
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