The summer is here and there seems to be an influx of bugs on the prowl. I find that mosquitoes are drawn to people who are the most attractive so take those bites as a compliment! The downside of mosquito bites are the welts they leave behind. In order to disguise them I recommend you draw a circle around each bite with your fave eyeliner and make a smiley face in each one. This adds a really whimsical touch to summer legs.
I've had a mishap with mosquitoes in the past. I heard the the best way to keep the bugs away is to rub banana peels all over your body. So, being the rule following urban woman that I am, I bought 10kg of bananas, made tons of smoothies and then tied the peels onto my legs with twine. When I was preparing to go outside for my afternoon mocktail I slipped on a banana peel. It was totally devastational. Good thing my nanny cam was running and I caught it on tape. I was able to view the footage and correct my mistakes. I haven't had a slip since.
One of the reasons that mosquitoes are so dangerous is because they carry a lot of viral infections, such as tetanus, south nile disease, or rosacea. In order to fight off these maladies I recommend bathing yourself in clamato juice. The acidity of the clams counteracts all sorts of disease. That's how I got cured of hepatitis. I'm really into natural remedies.
I usually name the mosquitoes after I kill them to make sure that they feel honored for their sacrifice. I've come up with some really creative names: Jacob, Dietrich Bonhoffer, Dracula, Dr. Cullen, and Sylvia Plath. It is nice to give each one a little placard in their honour. I have a a shingle full of mini dedications hanging in my bedroom.
Keep safe from the bugs ladies!
Until next time,
Urban Woman
No comments:
Post a Comment