I realise that many of my readers are mothers, or soon to be mothers-of the urban sort. In order to keep my niche (urban domination), I need to stay relevant to everyone. So this blog edition is all about children. While I may find their snotty noses and feathery hair to be distasteful some people really seem to like children. One of the biggest quandaries I find myself in is what to buy an up and coming urban child? There is a really great website for kiddie gifts http://www.anoukanoo.com/ but I get really creative with my ideas. Partly why my blog is so unique is because I never shamelessly advertise for people, I keep it totally organic and local.
When they are very small they don't even care about gifts (dare I say tacky?), so at this stage it is really about the mother.I usually get mom and tot a set of matching onesies that have my blog URL in gemstones across the booty. I may even throw in some mascara for the babe-I'm not sure who started the myth about children not needing make up. I am inventing my very own formula of hyperallergenic baby cosmetics. This way your little one can look fab even if they do smell like they've been bathed in vomit.
Alternately you could give them a jar of your very own baby food. I will share my secret recipe! The mom's love it because it is preservative free, but lasts forever!
Urban Imp Baby Mixer-this recipe includes all of the food groups and is really good for growth and brain developmentation.
1. Add one packet of hollandaise sauce powder to a blender with some water
2. Mix with bananas and chocolate milk
3. half a can of tinned ham
4. blend and put into a used gerber baby food jar
5. make a funky label: Nutrition for Babies!
6. Enjoy
In toddlerhood children can be extremely picky. At this point they seem to be really into money. I normally save up my Canadian tire $ and put them in a funky wallet for the child. I figure it's not my job to explain that they can only trade it in for a few screws or a roll of duct tape.
In later childhood I see fashion as a necessity. I give little girl's an Urban Style Guide that explains how their bodies will never be better...no arm flab, no back rolls, and certainly no wrinkles. In this gift I include a baby tee and booty shorts with red shiny rollerskates and a lollipop. It is totally retro and kids love it! LOL.
During the tween years it is all about accessories. Cell phone cases, zipper pulls, and jazzy shoe laces are big hits. I also include a prescription to Tiger Beat magazine so they can adorn their bedroom walls with pics of J. Beiber and Burt Reynolds.
Once they kids are full on teenagers I stop giving gifts. Instead I bring along my underwater disposable camera and we go to the city centre for a one-on-one photo shoot. Obviously as soon as the photos are uploaded to their twitter page they get tons of followers.
Keep spoiling all of those little imps-afterall, it is our destiny as Urban Women to encourage and inspire the next generation of Urban Women! Think about it...if not for Whitney Houston I wouldn't be here today!
Until next time,
Urban Woman
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