Urban Abroad

Hello Urban Women,

Since the summer is here so are holidays! I love vacationing, I have lived in so many different places on my holidays I can't even keep track. There are so many details to travelling that it can be overwhelming, but not if you have fantastic luggage, your wedged flip flops, a bedazzled money belt, and a good attitude. There is one certain Urban Woman out there right now...thinking of you girlfriend!

Whenever I go abroad I make sure to do a complete google search of the area I am travelling so that I know where the hotspots are before I even get there. I usually find a few good internet cafes and some chain fast food restaurants so I don't get sick from anything local; besides, who can survive without a morning Timmies?
There are certain items I can't live without while I am travelling. I am always sure to bring a pair of brownish/skin tone nylons in case you can't keep your faux tan up to the perfect darkness. From a distance nylons make your legs look like you were born a bronze goddess. I have even taken this trick a step further and made nylon cut outs for my arms. It got awkward when I tried to make a phone call  at my hotel concierge and my fingers couldn't dial because they were entrapped in the stocking foot...now I am sure to make little cut outs so my fingers are still of use, or at least the ones on my right hand (although I am naturally ambidextrous).

Another must have is a fake passport. I have a miniature notebook that has a wallet sized photo of me in it along with my address, birthdate, emergency contact info, and social insurance number. It is filled with fake travel stamps that I got from a garage sale. Urban Women: listen up-it is the perfect decoy for any sort of derelict or pick pocket you might encounter. Obviously you know to keep your real passport in your money belt (which I situate on my left hip to counter balance my right breast which is slightly bigger), but the faux passport can be kept anywhere. This way, if someone steals it they will probably get really embarrassed when they realise what they have is worth nothing more than my autograph (which does hold some value). And if you lose it, a good samaritan may find it and mail it back to you for your next holiday!

When I am cruising the streets I am also sure to bring a spare pair of crocs/flip flops. I find little children are always complimenting my shoes! It is no wonder they want to look like Urban Women themselves someday, so I don't mind giving them away, usually with a little gift pack of souvenirs, and throwing my next pair on! The kids in Edmonton love this!

Enjoy your travels!

Until next time,

Urban Woman

Gardens Galore

Hello Urban Women,

I can't believe I haven't blogged in a week! It is probably because I have been so busy out in my garden pretending to be an Urban Woman of the past (I wore my colonial Woman costume the entire time-I had it from a themed stagette I hosted a few months ago). I thought I would take this opportunity to share some Urban ways to spice up your garden.

The fact of the matter is I have a really hard time keeping plants alive. So this year, I went totally organic and got a number of synthetic plants. I ripped out the lawn and put in astroturf-I got a really good bargain because the chunk I purchased was recently used on a football field. All I had to do was spray paint the places where the lines were and it looks brand new. It is extra special knowing there is probably a little bit of football player sweat covering it! I also got a number of faux flowers from the dollar store. While it took a while to plant and water them they will look fabulous until eternity (they are annuals). After I got a few other magical items planted (cacti, palm trees, and a couple of bird baths), I could sit down in the sun and enjoy!

As an Urban Woman I do not think that garden gnomes should be legal, however I do love other forest creatures throughout. This adds a mystical touch to any outdoor space. I took a trip on my brand new segway to the garden store and purchased a few concrete frogs, buddhas, and gargoyles. At first they looked super drab, but after a can or two of gold spraypaint and some gemstones they are totally adorable.

I've also always wanted a firepit in my backyard. Instead of doing the traditional thing, I set up a fan with an extension cord in the middle of the yard. I attached a number of long pieces of orange, yellow and blue pieces of fabric so when the fan blows and rotates it looks like a real authentic fire.

My girlfriends came over to enjoy the backyard the other night. We had such a great time because the ambience was so encouraging. One of my girlfriends really opened up about the challenges she has had with coupon clipping. We were all able to support her and tell her coupons are passe.

Until next time,

Urban Woman

Weddings: How Could I Forget?

Dear Urban Women,

I must begin with an apology-it seems as though the hype of wedding season is getting to me too because in my last post I forgot some of the most important wedding details: stagettes, music and party favours! So think of this entry as a duodenum to my previous post!

Stagette

Hosting a good stagette is the ultimate way to show the bride that you love and care about her. I usually choose a theme and go all out with costumes, bevies, games, and decor. For example, the last stagette I hosted I did a "Return to the Blue Lagoon" theme and had dolphin decals, dolphin shaped mini-jello shooters, i got the girls to bring their bikinis incase they wanted to hop into the bath which I coloured with food dye, and we played spin the bottle with an empty bottle of Captain Morgan's Rum! At the end of the night I gave out little treat packs that included blue hair clip-ins and a 10% off coupon (if you mention my blog) at a body painting outlet where they will paint a bikini right onto your skin! Talk about a perfect fit!

This is a great ice breaker game that can be used at any stagette to get people mingling:

Hi, My Name Is...

The game is titled Hi, My Name Is because that is exactly how it starts. Get people to decorate a creative name tag using glitter glue, stickers, and feathers and have them go around the room and introduce themselves to others using the phrase "Hi, My Name is....". During this game I usually pump "Get The Party Started" by Pink on my ghetto blaster-the music and the game are the perfect beginning to a wild night with your girlfriends.

Music

Music really sets the tone for any event and when we are talking about weddings it is even more important. While there are so many classic love songs out there I have heard a few of my more "indie" or "alternative" Urban girlfriends have been using obscure folk tunes like "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. I have created a really cool poll to figure out what the ultimate wedding song is-so take a minute to check it out (located on the side bar). When the dance gets started make sure you include songs for all generations-a good mix of Craig David, Urethra Franklin, and anything that ends in "Brothers" (like Hanson, Jonas, Doobie etc).

Wedding Favours

A lot of brides are starting to skimp on wedding favours-Urban Women, please, continue this tradition. Not only does it give you something to leave the wedding with, but it serves as a great keepsake for the future. I personally have an entire shelf in my home devoted to wedding favours. There are days when I take each item off the shelf (for example a pair of furry slippers with the bride's face on one foot and the groom's on the other) and spend time reminiscing about the event and how that particular couple's love has blossomed. So I have provided a list (I bet you are realising how much I love lists!) of suggestions for wedding favours!

-pipe cleaners that have been moulded into hearts or doves

-miniature ant farms

-popcorn with the couple's initials monogramed on each kernel

-a gift card to the pound (for a free pet)

-wallet sized photos of me and the url to my blog

-beeswax candles that smell like camphor and vomit

-a square of fabric cut from the Bride's wedding dress

That is it for the second wedding edition-who knows, there might be more to come on this subject. But for now, enjoy your planning and remember Love is BANANAS!

Until Next Time,

xoxoxo

Urban Woman



Tis the Season

Hello Urban Women,

You are right! It is wedding season. When I think of weddings I tend to think of towels that are shaped into kissing swans laid out onto a bed full of rose petals, crooked hemlines, last minute eating disorders, and obviously love and romance. While the summer tends to come with a lot of weddings, as an urban woman, I am hoping you will find these occassions stress free whether you are a guest, a family member, the bride, or the guest book attendant (I dont mean to brag but I have been guest book attendant over 7 times). Here are some of my favourite wedding tips!

Decor

As you know, I love tinsel in the off season and believe that weddings are the perfect place to add a little low cost sparkle. You can drape it just about anywhere! I think a little tuft on the back of each seat provides a nice alternate to chair covers.I also think red carpets are a must for any bride-if you don't know where to buy or rent one think about using red spray paint to create the ultimate wedding aisle.

Fashion

Weddings are most often once in a life time events, except for those who tend to get divorced. So, it is important you look and feel your best! Weddings are one of those occasions where a few  rules cannot be avoided without a major fashion emergency!

1. Strappy sandals are a must! Square heeled are my fave. Check out the funky pic-if you have a larger wedding budget I would totally order these high-heeled sneakers in ivory.

2. Splurge on an updo. I seen it when mothers of the bride take this a step further and add a bedazzled hairpiece into their updo along with sparkly hairspray. Mixed medium styles that include braids, curls, comb overs, and rat tails are going to be huge this summer.

3. Wedding capes never go out of style...I am a big fan of crushed velvet or velour.

4. To have that flawless finish for photos I not only suggest leg foundation, but an all over body foundation so your skin looks airbrushed. Sometimes the foundation ends up rubbing onto the dress. Bring a sharpie that is the same colour as your gown so you can colour-in trouble spots.

5. Strapless gowns have always been popular, this is because they are timelessly modest and look great on everyone's body type and shape. If you find that your 'girls' are difficult to manage in a strapless dress go to your local hardware store, pick up some packing tape and create a bra in whatever shape you need! This creates supportive straps that are virtually invisible!

Food

Obviously my own recipes are some of my favourites, and I recommend serving the cocktails posted on the blog. In addition to those you may need something a little more hearty. Keep in mind when choosing a menu there a lot of people out there who have various food preferences and restrictions. I am always sure to include a red meat, a simple carbohydrate and some sort of cream sauce. Here is a main dish recipe that will make any wedding taste good!

Rare Steak Pilaf with Cream Sauce

1. Begin by cooking up a pot of rice (you may need two pots depending on the amount of guests at the wedding)

2. When the rice is nearly ready add in some small pieces of garlic, onion, pepperoni sticks, and salt and pepper

3. Purchase 3-4 salisbury steaks from your local deli section or frozen food market, pan fry for 1 minute/side. Do NOT overcook ladies-this takes away from the rareness of the steak. When people see rare they automatically think gourmet. Don't rob yourself on this one! It is your wedding!

4. Dish rice mixture into bowl, top with a few sticks of salisbury steak

Cream Sauce

-Combine one jar of a thousand island salad dressing with 1 cup of cream cheese and 1/2 cup of cheeze whiz

-Melt sauce in microwave on high until bubbling

-dish a little sauce over each bowl

ENJOY!

Gifts

People are always asking me advice about wedding gifts too...like how much should I spend? Is it ok that it is a regift? Should I just give money? Well, my advice on this one is yes, yes, and yes. As an Urban Woman you want to make sure your gift is totally urban, so I recommend picking something out at Urban Barn or Urban Behaviour. Spending around 25$ and add and additional 5$ depending on how much you like the couple ensures that your gift will be generous and appropriate. If you do decide to give money I would also make sure it is in a foreign currency so the couple thinks you are totally exotic.

Stay safe this wedding season all of you Urban Women!

Until next time,

Urban Woman

In Search of the Urban Man

Hello Urban Women,

I have taken all of my loyal followers feedback into account and changed the font on the blog-this should make reading easier on the eyes. Speaking of eye candy, I had another suggestion: post about the ultimate "Urban Man"! You probably won't be surprised to find out that I happen to be an expert not only on urban women but also on how to snag a really great Urban Man.



Let me begin by sharing my personal success story-I bet there is a junk load of you out there who will relate. It all started out when I was a young girl. I always felt that I had a keen sense about who is hot and who is not. Afterall, it's not any girl who can pull off an over the shoulder crochet sweater with overalls only done up on one side! My first urban man was a stallion. He wore a lot of tight black pants with the faintest bit of sparkle in them, he had gold chains, and he treated me like the urban woman that I was. We did  end up splitting up because he wasn't supportive of my plans to convert my main bathroom into a confessional booth for my blog subscribers.

Basically, I have developed a set of questions to ask any guy to see if he is a true blue urban man.

1. Do you wear axe body spray? Correct answer: yes

2. What kind of meals can you cook? Correct answer fettucini with a pre-made cream sauce with broccoli shards. Bonus points for using any of the recipes from my blog...I also must admit that I am a big fan of tube steaks-they are so urban in so many ways

3. If you only had one seat in your car and you had to choose to drive only one of the following-sunshine girl, fashion designer, or a baby-who would you drive? Correct answer: the baby-they can't get many places on their own. This shows a sensitive side that is a must.

4. How old were you when you had your first shooter? Correct answer: any age, shooters are timeless-especially if they involve sour puss!

5.How much hair gel do you go through in a week? Correct answer: one bottle, bonus points for brand name dippity do (with sparkles!)

6. Have you read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? Correct answer: yes, this shows that he probably loves romantic comedy.

7. Would you support your urban woman to set up a confessional booth in a prominent location in her/your shared home so that she can provide anonymous style, cooking, decorating, and urban advice to her girlfriends? Correct answer...obviously!

Hope you all find the urban man of your dreams!

Until next time,

Urban Woman

Staying Positive

Hello Urban Women,


I have been finding it really difficult to stay positive when I see that my blog doesn't have as many hits as some of my competitors (like twitter & facebook). I get really down and out and I find myself doing strange things; like applying my homemade oatmeal face mask two days in a row, eating plain splenda straight out of the packet, or not coming to a full stop at an intersection. I've really had to take a look at who I am and how my blog defines me. I realise that being the "go to" urban woman comes with great responsibility and I can't always please everybody. That is why today I am writing about staying positive. When I need to get myself out of the depths of despair I usually try a few things that seem to cheer me up- I sure hope these will help you too!

• Make a flower arrangement out of dried twigs and berries
• Collect ladybugs and put them in a jar-this one in particular makes me appreciate life
• Rub dryer sheets all over my body
• Use a sharpie to write an inspiration quotation on the door of a public toilet (I've invented a few at some of my more creative moments..." Live life with no regrets", "Roses bloom and so do people", & "Friends are like driveways, the longer they are the further they take you")
• Make an omelette out of quail eggs
• Walk around the block with shards of glass in my shoes
• Listen to "Black Velvet" by Alannah Myles on repeat
• Make a powerpoint presentation featuring pics of myself and invite friends, family, and neighbours over for a viewing

On a completely different note I wanted to touch on Spring Fashions so that all Urban Women are walking around looking and feeling fabulous. This spring Hello Kitty accessories are a must! This could be anything from a necklace, novelty shoe laces, or a cell phone case. I also recommend pleather jumpsuits, chunky heels, and ultra flared 3/4 length pants. Bikini tops under your shirt is a great switch up from the traditional bra. A cute way to take a daytime look and turn it into evening wear is to carry some temporary tattoos in your purse and sneak into the bathroom before you go out and place a couple on your ankles, shoulder blades, or just above your cleavage. You will be sure to look like a ten out of ten.





Until next time,


Urban Woman

Spring is in the Hair

Hello Urban Women,


After a long winter I find that my hairs are really dry and flat. I've been experimenting with a few different household products to try and get the shine back. I massaged mayonnaise (obviously low fat) into it the other day and then washed it. I noticed that it felt very soft but 3 different people came up to me at the liquour store and asked me if I worked at Subway. Next I tried a vinegar wash-that seemed to strip out the mayonnaise smell, but when I went into the sun the balsamic started to caramelize.My scrunchie still smells! For now, I guess I will stick with the regular routine-1 part hydrogen peroxide, 1 part Head & Shoulders, and 2 parts Ajax.

It's been a while since I've posted new recipes! With the sun shining I thought I'd suggest some spring cocktails that will make bbqs so much more fun:


Minty Spritzer


Fill a glass with seltzer water
Add 2 pieces of Excel Mint gum
Allow time for the coating to dissolve
Add tons of ice
Enjoy


Chicken Caesar


This is a twist on the classic Caesar -its a drink and an appy all in one!


Buy a 6 pack of premixed caesars from your local liquor store
Make some spicy chicken wings (fresh or frozen)
Pour the caesars into chilled beer mugs-adding a splash of chicken stock in each mug
Garnish each drink with a hot wing
Enjoy


I hope you all take some time for R&R with your girlfriends and try these bevies!


Until next time,


Urban Woman