Hello Urban Women,
As Labour Day is fast approaching I thought to myself, how can I be a better supporter of other Urban Women's journalistic talents? You know, the real labourers in our urban society. Being one of the pioneers of creative thinking I hired a very special gal to ghost write (for those of you unfamiliar with the term, think spirit from beyond with a magic pen) an exclusive editorial. Obviously, i am becoming far too busy on my Healthy Nail, Healthy Life seminar tour to be keeping up with my blog. So sit back, light your e-cig, and get jazzed for my guest star: Municipal Mistress!
Municipal Mistress' Guide to an Urban Woman Glam Labour Day
Now that summer is wrapping up, it’s time to start planning your star-studded Labour Day affair. It’s important to note that this holiday does not apply to true Urban Women because it is not a day of rest from labour. When you are basically a luminary, a day off is simply not an option. Perfection is laborious.
This is my suffragette mantra: If it’s not a day off for the Paparazzo, then it’s not a day off for the Urban Woman.
BBQ Assemblage:
The BBQ assembly line should be ultra-efficient for your star guest list. Insert ketchup, mustard, tahini and relish into medium sized water guns, preferably Super-Soaker 300s for maximum squirt potential. I suggest BBQing indoors, on your bedroom heat register for a hot meaty stench, all weekend long. And ladies, your late-night summer booty calls will thank you!
Attire:
One Direction is all the rage in the Europes, and the garb is flossy. I recommend sporting an adorb aprons naked, after ingesting of a bottle of self-tanner. Urban Women should be mega-bronzed while wearing white. This exclusive beauty secret will have that tawny glow rising out of your pores by cocktail hour…you’re welcome!But keep in mind - it would be fashion desecration to wear white after Labour Day. Be sure to slip into a dark fur onezie by at least 11:30pm and avoid sacrilege.
DIY Birdfeeder:
Enjoy a bird entourage all fall long with this eco-friendly DIY project:
- 1 ziplocked baggie
- 1 dead maus
- 4 live worms
- Tang fruit punch
- 1 scoop of Harvest Crunch cereal
- 1 tsp Metamucil
1. Place dead maus on top of live worms, inside ziplocked baggie. Progressive Urban Women will caramelize maus in Metamucil to foster healthy bowel schedules in birds.
2. Pour pre-mixed Tang fruit punch into ziplocked baggie before dusting Harvest Crunch cereal over entire contents of the mixture.
3. Ziplock baggie, and fasten to tree or tiki torch with gold hooped earrings for best results.
Now kick back, unwind and wait for the friendly bird frenzy to begin!
Until next time,
Urban Woman & Municipal Mistress
