Couldn't resist sharing this awesome pedi-look with you! Hope you take the time to read the Urban Fairytale posted earlier this week.
Until next time!
Urban Woman
Wednesday 14 September 2011
Love These!
Hello Urban Women,
Couldn't resist sharing this awesome pedi-look with you! Hope you take the time to read the Urban Fairytale posted earlier this week.
Couldn't resist sharing this awesome pedi-look with you! Hope you take the time to read the Urban Fairytale posted earlier this week.
Monday 12 September 2011
Fairytale of the Urban Sort
Hello Urban Women,
Some bedtime reading for y'all-share this story with all of your G.Fs! You are going to laugh, cry, and basically you will be a better person for reading this mesmorizing tale.
Some bedtime reading for y'all-share this story with all of your G.Fs! You are going to laugh, cry, and basically you will be a better person for reading this mesmorizing tale.
Once upon a time there was a gorgeous woman who lived right in the city centre.
She took part in all of the urban trends and people recognized her whether she was strutting her stuff uptown, downtown, or midtown. Her name was Arlene and she was a fair beauty.
One day a jealous competitor tripped Arlene right on the blvd!
This was devastational because Arlene was wearing 6 inch stiletto heels and a dog collar.
She fell to the concrete and realised her heel had snapped off and her face was covered with contusions and had gravel bits stuck all over her open wounds. To make matters worse she had just had a microderm abrasian treatment-all for nothing!
Arlene was too stunned to chase after the assailant, so she hobbled to the closest pay phone booth and paged her personal assistant who immediately sent her a Western Union Money Order to hire a private detective. Arlene hobbled home and treated herself to a dozen mocha licker treats. She had to spend the rest of the week in bed which totally cramped her Urban style. How could she continue to be the trend setter she was if people weren't seeing her at her local haunts? How could she blog when her eyes were swollen shut with shards of gravel?
To her delight, the private detective finally arrived at her doorstep to get the details on the assailant. He happened to be a total stud (5'3", dark curly shoulder-length hair, shiny finger nails, and gold capped teeth). She was so horrified that her face had not healed-her reputation was at stake! So she hid behind her eye patch and mock turtleneck style bathrobe. The P.I. claimed that he would do everything within his power to bring justice for Arlene.
After a day or two of investigation the P.I. was unable to come up with any suspects, he went back to the scene of the crime and found nothing. He reported daily to Arlene on his findings and as time went on she got more and more disheartened.
One day the P.I. arrived at her door and asked her: "Arlene, why is your face always covered?" she replied shyly: "You may know me as a beauty, but at this moment, I look like nothing more than a suburban beast". He gently stroked her forearm and said: "If I find out who did this to you, your payment will be no more than to show me your face".
When a few more days had come and gone Arlene began to lose hope completely. Her face was not healing, because she had refused to go to the doctor due to complications with the paparazzi. It wasn't until the detective paged her and asked for the details of her stiletto heels she was wearing the day of the incident. When she described the faux-wood spikes he gasped in delight.
Moments later he arrived at her doorstep with her broken off heel in his hand. He explained that he had found it wedged in between a crack in the sidewalk. They both realised the culprit had planted it there to make it appear as though Arlene had an unfortunate 'accident' (a most horrifying word in the Urban lexicon). Nonetheless, Arlene agreed to take off her eyepatch and robe to reveal her face as payment for his services.
When she did, the detective's face lit up. All of the bits of gravel implanted in her face had turned to rhinestones. She was sparkling and more beautiful than ever.
Arlene and the private detective ended up going into a Feng Shui Consultation/Home Waxing Kit business together.
Hope you enjoyed this inspirational tale. It is one of many stories I have written and am collecting to bind into a limited edition special print adult Urban fairytale volume.
Until next time,
Urban Woman, PhD in making creative memories
Saturday 10 September 2011
Skin Caress
Hello Urban Women,
With so many big events going on this September I thought it would be vital for me to do a feature on skin care. We all know that looking good is a recipe:
1 part fabulous outfit
1 part gorgeous heels
1 part trendy make up
2 parts glowing skin
3 parts da bomb attitude
With this season's trends let me just say; MORE is MORE! Hopefully you find a sexy little tube dress that will show off your summer glistening skin. In preparing my skin for a big occassion such as a wedding, cockatil party, awards ceremony, or quiet night at home I usually use a layering approach.
Layer 1: In the shower I ensure that I exfoliate with a sheet of mid - course sand paper. You can get this at your local hardware shop. Don't be cheap with the paper...if you find your skin is a little red after getting out of the shower just wait for the next step!
Layer 2: Pat your skin dry and apply a thick coat "Kerri Silky Smooth" lotion, if you can't afford Kerri Silky Smooth, then consider using a wannabe product, just don't blame me if your results aren't quite as good
Layer 3: Spray on SPF. I like to use the one designed for kids that sprays on purple and disappears after a few moments. This way you are sure not to miss any bits.
Layer 4: Self tanner-mid strength. After I put a thin coat all over my body I usually help myself to a litre of carrot juice with 6 oz of vodka. The carrot juice (after a regular drinking regimen) helps to give your skin an orangey glow from the inside out. The Vodka causes some first stage liver failure which provides a yellowish jaundicey glow (my doc said this was totally nothing to be concerned about). Together with the self tanner, the colour is an ab fab sunkissed looked, but without the damage of the suv rays!
Layer 5: Leg foundation. This really just evens out any flaws or discoloration you may have. For example, moles, scars, pock marks, or patches of hair you missed while you were shaving.
Layer 6: This is one of the most important steps because it provides that final 'wow factor'. Mix glitter into a tub of vaseline and rub everywhere. I recommend giving yourself at least 15 minutes before getting dressed.
With so many big events going on this September I thought it would be vital for me to do a feature on skin care. We all know that looking good is a recipe:
1 part fabulous outfit
1 part gorgeous heels
1 part trendy make up
2 parts glowing skin
3 parts da bomb attitude
With this season's trends let me just say; MORE is MORE! Hopefully you find a sexy little tube dress that will show off your summer glistening skin. In preparing my skin for a big occassion such as a wedding, cockatil party, awards ceremony, or quiet night at home I usually use a layering approach.
Layer 1: In the shower I ensure that I exfoliate with a sheet of mid - course sand paper. You can get this at your local hardware shop. Don't be cheap with the paper...if you find your skin is a little red after getting out of the shower just wait for the next step!
Layer 2: Pat your skin dry and apply a thick coat "Kerri Silky Smooth" lotion, if you can't afford Kerri Silky Smooth, then consider using a wannabe product, just don't blame me if your results aren't quite as good
Layer 3: Spray on SPF. I like to use the one designed for kids that sprays on purple and disappears after a few moments. This way you are sure not to miss any bits.
Layer 4: Self tanner-mid strength. After I put a thin coat all over my body I usually help myself to a litre of carrot juice with 6 oz of vodka. The carrot juice (after a regular drinking regimen) helps to give your skin an orangey glow from the inside out. The Vodka causes some first stage liver failure which provides a yellowish jaundicey glow (my doc said this was totally nothing to be concerned about). Together with the self tanner, the colour is an ab fab sunkissed looked, but without the damage of the suv rays!
Layer 5: Leg foundation. This really just evens out any flaws or discoloration you may have. For example, moles, scars, pock marks, or patches of hair you missed while you were shaving.
Layer 6: This is one of the most important steps because it provides that final 'wow factor'. Mix glitter into a tub of vaseline and rub everywhere. I recommend giving yourself at least 15 minutes before getting dressed.
Hope you keep that skin glowing throughout the year ladies!
Until next time,
Urban Woman
Thursday 1 September 2011
Water Cooler Gossip
Hello Urban Women,
Happy September. I hope you all took some time out of your day to decorate your front stoops in true autumn style. I pulled some leaves off the trees and spray painted them in gorgeous hues of yellow, orange, and burnt sienna and glued them to the front steps to create a totally fall atmosphere. I also mulled some wine and put it in a dispenser on my front porch so guests can have a warm libation on their way into the house. Pumpkin carving next weekend!
At this time of the year things tend to really slow down. The kids are back at school and work can feel like a real drag. One sure way to jazz up your day is to spend some time chillin at the water cooler. Obviously I would never imagine drinking the water from the cooler considering all those people have manhandled the spout, but I do bring my mineral water with a twist of lime and commit to starting up some fantastic gossip. Here are some sure ways to get the rumours flying:
1. Did you hear about Ernest buying his wife a back waxing gift certificate for their anniversary? I think it would be better used on her unibrow personally...
2. I accidentally opened Cindy's email inbox and saw she had written a heartfelt note to Jenny Craig. On the work clock? Unbelievable...
3. I seen Johnson steal a pack of Bic pens from the office supply cabinet and stick the box into his fanny pack. Isn't stealing a fellony?
If you finish any of these phrases with a "don't tell anyone" you can guarantee that people will tell someone! Don't get me wrong, as an Urban Woman, I am not a gossip, but this is all in good fun. You also must know that I have been the recipient of this type of silly prank...I once heard someone say: "Who puts a chicken wing in their ceasar?" I knew it was a joke because anyone that reads my blog would know that chicken ceasers are on the cutting edge of cocktails.
Stay jazzy!
Until next time,
Urban Woman
Happy September. I hope you all took some time out of your day to decorate your front stoops in true autumn style. I pulled some leaves off the trees and spray painted them in gorgeous hues of yellow, orange, and burnt sienna and glued them to the front steps to create a totally fall atmosphere. I also mulled some wine and put it in a dispenser on my front porch so guests can have a warm libation on their way into the house. Pumpkin carving next weekend!
At this time of the year things tend to really slow down. The kids are back at school and work can feel like a real drag. One sure way to jazz up your day is to spend some time chillin at the water cooler. Obviously I would never imagine drinking the water from the cooler considering all those people have manhandled the spout, but I do bring my mineral water with a twist of lime and commit to starting up some fantastic gossip. Here are some sure ways to get the rumours flying:
1. Did you hear about Ernest buying his wife a back waxing gift certificate for their anniversary? I think it would be better used on her unibrow personally...
2. I accidentally opened Cindy's email inbox and saw she had written a heartfelt note to Jenny Craig. On the work clock? Unbelievable...
3. I seen Johnson steal a pack of Bic pens from the office supply cabinet and stick the box into his fanny pack. Isn't stealing a fellony?
If you finish any of these phrases with a "don't tell anyone" you can guarantee that people will tell someone! Don't get me wrong, as an Urban Woman, I am not a gossip, but this is all in good fun. You also must know that I have been the recipient of this type of silly prank...I once heard someone say: "Who puts a chicken wing in their ceasar?" I knew it was a joke because anyone that reads my blog would know that chicken ceasers are on the cutting edge of cocktails.
Stay jazzy!
Until next time,
Urban Woman
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